


Each Night Before You Go to Bed, My Baby

by fiveyaaas



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Married Couple, Married Life, Painkillers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wife Guy Number Five | The Boy, and he tells a lady trying to seduce him that he loves his wife, and that he would never be with anybody else or ever think of being unfaithful to her, bet., don’t @ me it’s cute, five is on painkillers after an emergency surgery, i will make this a common tag I’m determined, just ten fics for a common tag right?, not realizing he is indeed talking, to his wife, while they are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28909914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: During their most recent mission, Five had gotten shot, and he’d had to undergo an emergency surgery, operated on by Grace for hours. Vanya had been a little bit uncomfortable having Grace operate on him, all things considered, but she’d stood by, knowing her husband needed the first thing he could get, even though seeing the android administer pills to him had caused her some distress. He was still under the influence of those pills, having to take them each day for a week while he recovered, lest his pain become intolerable. This was the first time that they’d be able to even sleep in the same bed together.Really, she should have imagined it would turn out disastrously.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 22
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ellaphunt19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaphunt19/gifts).



> I just wanted to write more Wife Guy Five 🤷🏻♀️ By the way, I’m starting to go through old Tumblr prompts rn, so if you’ve sent in a prompt before to my tumblr, expect it to be put up soon!!!

She tended to think of her husband as a grumpy drunk. Any time she’d ever seen him under the influence (though she hadn’t seen him drink much at all in the time that they’d been together, considering he’d nearly completely dropped his habit by the time they got together), he’d always be snappy (even worse than he was on a regular basis, that is). 

Though, she supposed he wasn’t really _drunk_ now, so it might explain his current… attitude while under the influence of painkillers, reacting differently than he would alcohol.

During their most recent mission, Five had gotten shot, and he’d had to undergo an emergency surgery, operated on by Grace for hours. Vanya had been a little bit uncomfortable having Grace operate on him, all things considered, but she’d stood by, knowing her husband needed the first thing he could get, even though seeing the android administer pills to him had caused her some distress. He was still under the influence of those pills, having to take them each day for a week while he recovered, lest his pain become intolerable. This was the first time that they’d be able to even sleep in the same bed together. 

Really, she should have imagined it would turn out disastrously. 

“Just get into bed, Five.”

“I’m married, succubus!” he hissed, weakly pushing her away. “You might be beautiful, but I love my wife!”

“I am your wife, Five. You’re just on painkillers.”

He screamed, nearly falling over, “Do not try to fool me.”

She sighed, shrugging out of her clothes and reaching for her pajamas, realizing her husband’s eyes were on her. “You’re staring at me,” Vanya pointed out. “Therefore you clearly don’t mind cheating on your wife.” 

Though Vanya had just been trying to get him to come to bed, reasoning with him when he was being unreasonable, she should have figured that was the wrong way to go about it. He made a gesture with his hands that was either meant to make him avert his gaze or ward off evil, growling, _‘temptress,’_ under his breath. 

“For someone raised in a doomsday cult, you’re really starting to sound like you were raised in a religious cult.”

Normally, he’d laugh at a comment like that, but he was avoiding staring at her. Throwing on her pajamas quickly, she gently tugged him to bed. 

“I’ll tell you what,” Vanya said. “I know your wife really well, and she told me to tell you that she needed you to sleep beside me.”

“Why would Vanya say that?” He sounded like he thought that _she_ was being the ridiculous one. “My wife would never suggest I sleep with another woman.”

“Well, Vanya told me that she couldn’t bear seeing you when you’d just been shot.”

Five whimpered. “Did she sound super worried? I feel awful that she had to deal with that, but I didn’t mean to get shot. Oh, God, was she crying?”

“No,” Vanya assured gently, patting his head. As frustrating as it was dealing with Five under the influence of painkillers, it was strangely endearing. “She just said that she needs to make sure you’re sleeping and everything else. So, she had me come and make sure that you do.”

“That makes sense, I suppose, but you must be far away. Do not try to cuddle because that is for my wife _only.”_

Resisting the urge to laugh, Vanya pinky-promised when he tipped his hand towards her. 

Unceremoniously, Five fell face-first onto the bed. Distressed, Vanya tugged him to where he was at least laying on the pillows, covering his body with a blanket. “I love my wife so much,” Five told her dreamily, sighing with the dopiest expression she’d ever seen on him. “Did you know that she is the most beautiful and smart woman alive?”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, _and_ she knows the vi—” He tried to pronounce ‘violin’ for a few minutes before yawning, sleepy. “She is the best,” he said instead. “I love her very much.”

“That’s sweet, Five.”

“I just wish she knew how much I love her,” he whined, sounding suddenly frustrated. “She doesn’t know how much I love her because it surpasses understanding, you know?”

“Mmhmm, sure. Try to go to sleep.”

“I want to marry her a thousand more times. Then, we can be double married.”

“That math doesn’t seem to add up.”

He shook his head. “Love does not follow the rules of mathematics or logic, temptress. It is beyond comprehension, and it breaks the laws of math in its power.”

“Sure thing, Five. Sleep now.”

“I want to see her,” he complained. 

“You’ll see her soon.”

Frantically, he asked, “Will you tell her I love her?” 

“I’m sure she knows.”

“She still deserves to hear it,” he said stubbornly, curling up to a pile of pillows like he was imagining they were his wife and he was spooning them. Even though she’d never expect to witness this in her life, it was one of the sweetest displays of intoxication she’d ever seen, so she let him spoon the pillows and talk about his wife until he drifted to sleep. 

When she wrapped her arms around him, spooning him, Five didn’t wake up. She listened to his pulse with her powers, trying to assure that he was still fine, despite having been injured gravely less than a week before. He had been lucky enough that Grace had gotten to him when she did, and she was grateful that he was recovering, especially when his pain was _clearly_ managed with the pills. 

As he snored, barely moving in his sleep at all, unlike the many nights he’d toss and turn while he experienced nightmares of a wasteland, she stroked his hair, noting that it was starting to turn gray. Had he chosen a body a little older than all of them? Only once did he shift in his sleep, muttering her name, and she whispered, hoping to assure him, “Your wife is here.” 

His face seemed to relax, despite the fact that he’d already been sleeping. 

Encouraged by that, she added, “And I love you very much. Of course I know how much you love me, for I love you just as dearly.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I did _not_ originally intend for this to have a second part, but I was so inspired and flattered by [this fanart](https://xzazu2002.tumblr.com/post/641198658640019456/five-and-vanya-sketchpage-w-i-got-inspired-by) that was drawn in response to this fic that I _had_ to write a second chapter. The artist was so kind to draw that for me, and I was not expecting it at all. It legitimately made me cry from happiness, and I made this second part as fluffy and sweet as I possibly could. It’s set about a few days or so after the last chapter. Five has just now stopped taking painkillers, and Vanya is just 🥰 to him and he has no idea why.

His wife was starting to concern him. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her looking at him the way that she was, offering him a huge smile every time he caught her, but he had never seen her look so…  _ besotten. _ Five had never seen her act like a schoolgirl with a crush on him. Even when she had  _ been  _ a school girl with a crush on him. 

“Are you alright?” Five asked her, trying not to wince as she helped him change his bandage. Grace had finally let Vanya go back to taking care of him, which he’d always preferred, anyways. “You’ve seemed… different today.”

“In a bad way?”

“Oh, no! Just.. You’re not concerned I’m going to get shot again, are you? That’s not what this is about, right?”

Vanya raised her brows, tilting her head up to look him in the eyes. “Do you not remember anything you said while you were on pills?”

Five tried to decipher whatever code this was. Had he suggested having children while he’d been on them? Sometimes it took a near-death experience to make people realize they wanted something like that, but Five had been pretty vocal about the fact that he was okay with having children for as long as they’d been together. It probably wasn’t about having children, then. What could it possibly be, though?

“I don’t know… Should I?” He felt bad for not knowing what she was talking about, wishing that he could just figure it out. Sheepishly, he added, “I’m sorry that I don’t.” 

Setting her hand on his shoulder, she told him softly, “It’s fine, Five! You didn’t say anything important… It was just that you were just so…”

_ “Yes?”  _ Had he been horribly cruel to her? He’d not been in his right mind, but he felt awful that he would be callous with her. There would be no excuse for—

_ “Sweet. _ You were just so  _ sweet.  _ I’ve never seen you like that before, and it was just… God, it was so adorable, I wish I’d recorded you.”

Strangely, Five found himself a little jealous of his past, drugged self, who had stood out so much in his wife’s mind. It seemed a bit unfair that  _ he  _ was the reason she’d been so doting all day, and he’d not even gotten to see her reactions as they happened. 

“Oh my god, you’re jealous of yourself, aren’t you?” Vanya figured out, looking somewhere between amused and exasperated. “I can’t believe this.” 

“What? No.” At the look she shot him, he quickly caved, “Fine. Yes. I am the slightest bit jealous of—” 

“I cuddled with him.” 

“That motherf—”

“You’re ridiculous,” she interrupted.

She probably wouldn’t have said that about the  _ other  _ Five. 

“Do you want to lay down, Five? I’ve got your bandages fixed up, and I can grab you some Tylenol if you need or whatever else.”

Five pulled her onto bed with him, trying to spoon her, but she shook her head, quickly explaining that she didn’t want to hurt his wounds. When he pouted, she added, “Plus, I was the big spoon with  _ him.” _

He agreed to be the little spoon. 

It had nothing to do with his jealousy for his past self. 

_ Nothing.  _

And if it did, which it didn’t, Five would claim that the residing painkillers within his system were responsible for it. They were notorious for making people teary and unpredictable, he’d heard. It would make sense that they’d be no different for him, who was tearing up, just the slightest. 

“I’m really glad that you’re feeling better,” she murmured, interrupting his thoughts as her forehead went to rest against his shoulder. “I was so scared that your injury would…”

Feeling awful, the guilt he had from getting shot and stressing out his Vanya much worse than getting shot itself, he set his hand on top of hers, pressing it to his beating heart. Even though he knew that she could hear his pulse with her powers, he felt the urge to reassure her that he was still there, that his heart was still beating and he didn’t intend for it to stop any time soon. When he felt her body begin to relax against him, he leaned down to press his lips to her palm, telling her, “I would not ever leave you willingly, dear.”

She chuckled a little. “And you have the power to self heal now?”

“I have the power to time travel, so I do a little bit.” 

“Just don’t put yourself in that kind of danger again,” she said, lightly patting his arm. He didn’t respond, so she added, “Please, Five? For me?”

Five didn’t want to make any promises that he couldn’t keep, so he really thought if that was one he  _ could  _ keep. Finally, he told her, “All I can promise is that I will not  _ try  _ to in the future, but if I have to protect our family… Well, you already know that I would do anything to protect you guys.”

“That’s fair.” She kissed the nape of his neck. “Just  _ try  _ to be safe. Please.”

“You asked me, and I promised you,” Five told her, kissing her palm again. “I won’t go back on that, V.”

“Five?”

“Yes, dear?” 

Her voice was small. “You know I’m really happy to be with you, right?”

He smiled. “I’m glad that you are. You make me really happy, too, Vanya.”

Sensing that she was near sleep, he was a little surprised when she added, “And I’m really glad to know that you would never cheat on me.” 

_ “What?” _

Unfortunately, her words had given him a very faint memory of what he’d said while he’d been very much under the influence of painkillers, and he nearly cried in embarrassment, hoping that she couldn’t tell by his suddenly stiff posture that he’d remembered. 

“Though I am a  _ little  _ offended that you called me both a temptress and a succubus. Your own wife, Five?” Based on the mocking tone she was giving him, she had clearly figured it out, probably with the way his heart had skipped a beat the second he’d recalled the night before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you’d like, please fill out [this survey](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc8iaFKvzwkgOKxal7pZHAM3kql9zEPYRJmGwAiJj1gxuDk5w/viewform), which will let me know which fics you guys would like to see updated. My goal is to post three updates to my fics a day for the rest of March and the entirety of April, so, if there are fics you guys are interested in, it would be super helpful to see your responses.💕🥰

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!!!💕💕💕💕


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